Pavitra: What seemed so simple has become very difficult. These last few days I have had the greatest difficulty in separating myself from my lower mind. It needed a great deal of energy to remain awake, attentive, and not to let myself be carried away by the stream of mental images, without head or tail, a sort of waking dream. Perhaps this is a temporary reaction?

Sri Aurobindo: What do you do when you try to quiet your mind?

Pavitra: I have succeeded in keeping my mind absolutely empty of thought for a few minutes. All the waves have stopped.

Sri Aurobindo: IT is a question of leaving the physical body. But this is not to be tried at the moment: it is necessary at first to get more control (to know, for instance, how to direct oneself beyond)

Pavitra: I can at times keep my attention fixed, "turned upwards" (pointed towards Sahasrara) and my mind calm and empty of thought. But all is closed up there — I am at the door and knock. Something curious happened this morning. I woke up with waves of powerful vibrations at the top of the head and in the pit of the stomach. They were even physical, my scalp was sensitivised. These vibrations were connected with a sort of anguish — though I was not frightened and reproduced these vibrations in order to study them.

Sri Aurobindo: When you are a spectator, are you active or passive?

Sri Aurobindo: THEY seem to me to be two aspects, active and passive, of the same effort. But it is always with the mind that you make this effort. It is unavoidable in the beginning; but the calm which comes is not an effort, it is a substance, "a mental stuff".

Pavitra: It is difficult for me to keep this attitude and this aspiration when I silence my thought — for it is thought which helps me to rouse them.

Sri Aurobindo: Why? Because you think it is difficult and because you are not used to it. But it is important. Practice this. If your consciousness leaves the physical level, this can in itself shut out all sensation. But at any rate you will have to develop this. Might as well do it now.

Pavitra: I suppose these difficulties are common. Like the one of the mind's trying by every means to keep its hold upon me. And it tosses me violently hither and thither.

Sri Aurobindo: Quite common.

Sri Aurobindo: In the first analysis, the mind is divided into two parts: one, whose movements are aroused by Nature; the other which shares the nature of the Purusha and remains immobile. Sri Aurobindo: It is now necessary to extend the power of this immobile part to remain the witness of the changes of the other. Thought will seem to occur in front of it, and it will become aware that it is universal Nature which raises the play of thoughts. One must go towards this universalization. Thoughts will come from outside and you will see them taking shape in you. You will also experience that you have power over them: you will be able to make a choice, refuse a movement, etc. This is the beginning of mastery.

Sri Aurobindo: At first Prakriti does struggle against herself — certain parts against certain others. But Purusha is not totally inactive. This inactivity, reduced to the single role of passive witness, is that of spiritual practice of Sankhya.  Purusha is Sakshi or Witness. But even then he can either give or refuse his consent, he is the giver of sanction: anumanta. And Prakriti does not work only for herself, she works for Purusha also — she executes. But Purusha is more than that. It is not he who executes, his activity is not effective, but he is also the Knower and Lord (Ishwara). And what he decides, Prakriti executes.

Pavitra: This week my meditation was better, deeper and more regular. I feel the force descending into the centres: Anahata and Muladhara and even in the legs. At certain moments my legs become stiff. Also a greater calm which, if I could apply it directly to the mind, would quieten, by its single descent, the whole mind. Once I happened to see flashes of light.

Pavitra: In my efforts to bring about this separation, I give rise to movements in the nervous fluid, and thus I often have nervous neuralgia.

Sri Aurobindo: It is not useful to make these efforts. It is rather through a calm will that this separation comes about. When one makes efforts, often headaches or other little disorders appear. The mind will not be always calm but there will be one region perpetually peaceful, inaccessible to movements which reach only the outer part.

Pavitra: In this passage, I remember that I perceived that I was being dragged away by these forces. At once I called the divine force which descended through the Sahasrara right down to the two lower chakras. With the help of this force, I pushed back the hostile forces and set myself afloat again. A little later I woke up. But for some time I was aware that the hostile forces were trying to force the wall and I pushed them back in the same way. The two lower centres were vibrating rapidly.

Pavitra: The difficulty always comes from the mechanical part of the mind. It clings to everything it can find: small things of daily life, books, purchases, etc., and embroiders and builds upon these data. Nevertheless, there is a certain progress in the way I look at its activity; it seems more external.

Sri Aurobindo: You will not be able to free yourself completely from this mechanical activity until you have accomplished the transformation of the physical. Till then you will be able to stop it at will, during meditation, for instance. You will see it as outside yourself and have a certain influence on its line of unfoldment; but you won't be entirely free from it.

Sri Aurobindo: What  kind of sensation do you have?

Pavitra: At the same time like a pressure and a pulling out. Is it perhaps the vital being rising up to separate itself?

Sri Aurobindo: It may be that, or possibly it is a modification which is generally produced when the divine force transforms gradually even the physical substance. This substance is impure and cannot receive the impulsion without a previous transformation.

Sri Aurobindo: The psychic being is the transmitter which receives the light and transmits it to the lower personality. It is that which remains at the back and governs the personality. The psychic being is in direct communication with the truth, which it organizes and transmits to the outer being. The central being cannot organize the truth: it is above all evolution. It is the psychic being which develops spiritually through the different personalities.

Pavitra: I try to understand the resistance that is in me. Now, I tried to see what part of the mind was connected with the resistance. It seems to me that it is the most material and physical part of the mind, that part which is busy with the form and the collection of forms, acquiring, dealing with objects, etc.

Pavitra: How is it that even the faint experiences I had — light, deep calm of the mind — have receded and do not come back?

Sri Aurobindo: It happens so. There is no continuous and regular unfolding, but alternations of light and darkness — ebb and flow. But the experiences have to become more and more frequent and prolonged, until they come at will and mastery is gained.

Pavitra: There is also a kind of broadening of consciousness; I feel in touch, all around the head, with a living medium. It is yet very dim, only a beginning. What I am doing is mostly to remain passive, allowing the force to flow down and to work.

Sri Aurobindo:You spoke of a broadening of consciousness. That is an important part of the process. If that were firmly established, it would go all right. The essential thing to do is to watch closely the forces. The force may come down for organizing the vehicles, it may work from above or it may organize experiences. All this has to be watched.

Pavitra: It happened two or three times that I saw before me a long, endless road. But this image had no distinct character that indicated another origin than the ordinary mental images.

Sri Aurobindo: It may come from the higher mental plane. Once you open to them you receive knowledge of things you do not know in the ordinary mind. The image of a road is a very common image of the higher mental; its meaning is that of the path that has to be traveled on.  

Sri Aurobindo: Something more than a passive self-surrender is necessary. In this yoga, a mere waiting upon the force to come down if it wills, won’t do. You have done nearly all that could be done by the mind above, and the opening through a pure mental process would no doubt require a long time. Therefore you have to rely on the higher force. But simply waiting is not sufficient. You have to call it down, and see how it works, make demands upon it. And this must be done in the vital as well as in the mind.

Pavitra:You speak of the opening of mind and of vital. What do you mean exactly by these terms?

Sri Aurobindo: It is first the opening to a higher light and power and also the opening to the influences of that plane, becoming conscious of the forces of that level.

Pavitra: You spoke of two ways. One direct to the supermind through the mind, the other by the opening of the psychic being. Are they really two different paths? And what are their characteristics?

Sri Aurobindo: Yes, there are two movements. Sometimes the mind opens first to the light and the supermind works then through the mind and uses the machinery of mind. Sometimes the psychic being, which is always behind — without a psychic aspiration nothing in this Yoga is possible — comes forward. There is then no mental illumination, but a burning fire which turns the whole being upwards. It makes then the progress easy.

Sri Aurobindo: We are always using mental words that mislead. Yes, it is true that it is the support of all personality. The Vedantic standpoint of the impersonal absolute is only one aspect of the truth. It applies very much to the mind, especially to the modern mind, but when the consciousness rises above mind, it is clearly seen as a partial aspect of the truth. It is the power that has personality as a guna. It uses the impersonal to rise above the limited egoism of our personalities. The impersonal view of the divine is somewhat larger than our personal conception, limited by our mind. But it is mind that limits personality. It has an existence above mind. You have to recognize that the power is not a mere power.

Pavitra: Last night I had a dream: I went to you. You were in bed, and as far as I remember taking breakfast. I bowed to you with very deep feelings of devotion and aspiration and remained sometime prostrated with a blank mind. Then you touched me with your hand and I underwent a change of consciousness of which I don't remember anything. After sometime I came down again. You kissed me twice and I departed with very high feelings.

Pavitra: Behind the chest centre, which is always very active, I feel the presence of something and from there my aspiration goes above and unites with the force coming down. I see a kind of connecting line between this centre and the top of the head. It is a straight line. Is there anything like that?

Sri Aurobindo: It means that your psychic aspiration is rising and calls the force down. A connection is formed. At the end all the centres will be connected in that way.

Sri Aurobindo: What is trying to come down here is a power for knowledge. In the past, knowledge has been reached also but a different kind of knowledge, a knowledge more abstract. Now it is a knowledge for effectuation, for practical purposes of the human life. That is what is in the spiritual force above. And as you are in touch here with it, it tries to manifest in you.

Mother: Do not seek the truth with your mind! All that you have done so far, all that you have learnt ought to be put aside. What holds you back is your education and your mental habits. A Hindu who had the deep experience you had last time would have drawn knowledge from it. That experience truly would have brought knowledge, it was beautiful enough, wasn't it? and you felt all its power. But your European mentality came in the way. Your inner being opened, put itself in a receptive attitude which allowed the descent. Instead of trying to reason, plunge into the experience itself.

Sri Aurobindo: There are two ways: one by oneself — it is slow — one by allowing everything to be done by the Divine — it is quick.

Pavitra: I think I have understood what you meant. Since yesterday I have changed everything in my meditation. Instead of doing things myself as though I was directing the force, I quite simply open myself and remain passive. Almost the whole day through I could keep the contact with the force and opened myself to its action.

Mother: I felt you very close all the day.

Pavitra: But this puts me to sleep.

Mother: There is nothing against that. During sleep, in you as in many others, there is no resistance left. Everything opens and the working is perfect. If you feel inclined to sleep don't resist it.

Sri Aurobindo: Remain open and passive and follow. That is what you have to do. The force will transform by itself and by its own means and ways. The way of doing it with the mind is slow and imperfect, though the mind sometimes thinks it to be the best, because it feels itself acting. That is wrong. The mind does not know the conditions and the means. That force acts with a directness of which the mind is incapable. And you are receptive enough to allow it to work. Obstacles may arise, obstacles in the physical, vital or mental, as they arise always. But that does not matter. They will be worked out and rejected. Do not try to do something by yourself.

Pavitra: In meditation I don't remain completely passive but I follow what the force does. I talked with Mother about the matter and she said that passivity was required in the beginning of the meditation but that when the force has begun to work cooperation is to be practiced.

Sri Aurobindo: Of course following the movement was understood. To follow the movement, and see what it is doing there. Complete passivity would be inconscience.

Pavitra: The chief difficulty is always the activity of the mind. It is neither possible to quiet it completely nor to stand aside from it. Even when for some very short time it does not interfere with the concentration, it is not truly quiet and resumes its activity at the very first opportunity. It seems to me that if it were possible to quiet it, progress would be rapid, for concentration would be easy. Now I am always disturbed and concentration is very imperfect.

Sri Aurobindo: THIS activity of the physical mind will only be completely transformed when the physical itself will be changed, but what should be arrived at is that during meditation, it be simply dropped off.

Pavitra: I became also conscious of the movements of the vital which we may call egoistic movements. They rise from the vital and become conscious at the emotional centre. The thoughts by themselves have no character of vanity or selfishness, but when dwelling on certain thoughts, vital movements of this character appear and I cannot stop them. I suppose they will disappear?

Sri Aurobindo: Yes. The first thing is to become conscious that they do not come from the mind. Then when the mind is free from them and the emotional being sufficiently free, they rise but don't cloud the mind. They are then located in their proper place and by refusing them the consent and calmly putting them aside they will disappear. Most men cannot get rid of them because they cannot make this separation and are not conscious of this rising.

Pavitra: The difficulty resides always in the outer consciousness and the mechanical part of the mind which carries me away.

Sri Aurobindo: That is again the old story. You are paying too much attention to these workings.

Pavitra: I am not trying to suppress them by force. But is it really that they have no importance?

Sri Aurobindo: It is only an outer working which will be left and cast away in the process. This outer being is only the aggregate of what belongs to this life-time with a personality that is not your true personality.